The Training of C

UNSPECIFIED DATE - A LITTLE BIT OF SERIOUS

I write this a year after the events just described, significantly post-Training. As you know just as well as I, your Training eventually took and bedded in (although there was a way to go at that stage).

Our love for each other has only intensified, and on the occasions when our bed is occupied by more people than just us, it's with the consent - and eagerness - of us both. When I watch you brought to orgasm by another man (or woman, or both), I watch it with love, not jealousy, because I know you're mine, and I revel in your pleasure. When I'm enjoying another woman it's in the knowledge that you're there, joining in. Sometimes - and I do wish you wouldn't do this - shouting out scores for technique. Although I'm going to beat that 7.5 one day, mark my words. Good Lord, woman, you grade harshly..

But there are times when that worm of guilt rears its head.

You don't know this - I think, I hope - but there are nights when I wake in the early hours with my face wet. Despite both you and, weirdly, Girth trying to convince me that I wasn't to blame, that I had no control over the events in that room with Dawn - some part of me still doesn't believe it, and probably never will.

Dawn may not have her claws in me any more, but she left a scratch on my soul.

Because I know that when you asked me if I wanted a replay with Dawn, and I almost shouted 'no', in honest revulsion, I know that a very small voice...

...Very far down in me...

Said 'yes'.

J.